Restorative questions after a bullying incident

Restorative questions can support repair, but they must be used carefully. Bullying involves harm and power, so schools should not push pupils into face-to-face repair before safety and consent are clear.

Start with safety

Before any restorative conversation, staff should check immediate safety, listen to the pupil harmed, record concerns and decide whether safeguarding or senior pastoral routes are needed.

Repair should never be used to minimise harm or pressure a pupil to forgive.

Useful restorative questions

Questions might include: what happened, who has been affected, what do you understand now, what needs to happen next, and what support do you need to make that change?

For the pupil harmed, questions should focus on support and safety: what do you need adults to understand, what would help you feel safer, and how should we check back in?

When the incident happened online

Online incidents may need evidence handling, parent communication and clearer boundaries before repair is considered. Screenshots, shared images and group-chat audiences can make the harm wider than one conversation.

Follow-up checks

Whatever response is used, the school should check whether behaviour has stopped. Follow-up is where many anti-bullying processes either become credible or fall apart.

Useful official resources

Related school guides