Start with behaviour, repetition and power
A useful school definition looks beyond the form of the behaviour. Staff should consider what happened, whether it is repeated or has the potential to be repeated, the impact on the pupil and whether there is a power imbalance. Power can come from age, popularity, group size, confidence, access to information or control of an online space.
A one-off disagreement can still be serious and may still need a safeguarding or behaviour response. The point of careful classification is to choose the right response, not to minimise harm that does not fit one label.
Physical and verbal bullying
Physical bullying can include hitting, pushing, damaging belongings, taking possessions or repeatedly invading someone's space to frighten them. Verbal bullying can include repeated insults, threats, humiliating comments, sexualised language or nicknames that continue after the impact is clear.
Staff should record the specific behaviour rather than relying only on broad labels. A clear record makes patterns easier to see across lessons, corridors, transport, clubs and unstructured times.
Relational and social bullying
Relational bullying uses friendships, status or belonging to cause harm. It can include repeated exclusion, rumour spreading, public embarrassment, turning a group against someone or making friendship conditional on compliance.
This form can be difficult for adults to see because individual moments may look small. Staff need to notice the pattern, listen to the pupil's account and check what is happening across settings rather than asking the pupil to prove every social interaction.
Prejudice-based bullying
Prejudice-based bullying targets a pupil because of an actual or perceived aspect of identity, background, disability, appearance, family or community. Schools should respond to the immediate behaviour and consider whether wider teaching, policy or safeguarding action is needed.
Do not ask the targeted pupil to educate others or carry the whole response. Adults should name harmful language clearly, protect privacy and follow the school's regional procedures.
Cyberbullying and blended school life
Online bullying can include harmful messages, group-chat exclusion, anonymous accounts, edited images, rumour sharing or pressure around screenshots. It can be repeated through forwarding and sharing even when the original post appeared once.
Online and offline behaviour often overlap. Use the cyberbullying in schools guide to plan evidence handling, reporting routes and classroom discussion.
Primary-school examples pupils can understand
Use fictional examples that are short and concrete. A pupil is repeatedly pushed out of the football game by the same group. A hurtful nickname continues after adults and pupils have made the impact clear. A child is repeatedly removed from a class group chat and screenshots are shared to embarrass them.
Ask what happened, whether there is a pattern, what makes it difficult to stop and which adult should help. Do not ask the class to decide whether a real pupil is bullying another pupil.
What is not necessarily bullying?
A friendship fallout, disagreement or one-off unkind act may be different from bullying. That does not mean it should be ignored. Adults should listen, record what is relevant and choose a response that fits the behaviour and risk.
Teach pupils that they do not need to decide the label before asking for help. They can say: something happened and I need an adult to help me work out what to do.
Teach a clear reporting route
Pupils should know who they can approach, where that adult can be found and what is likely to happen next. Give more than one route where possible so that help does not depend on one person being available.
Staff should thank the pupil, check immediate safety and follow school policy. Serious threats, coercion, abuse or other safeguarding concerns must move into the appropriate procedure promptly.
Build clarity through the P4-P7 workshop
HIP Psychology's live online Hip N Healthy workshop helps P4-P7 pupils understand what bullying is, what it is not, how it differs from conflict and disagreement, and how to ask for help.
See what is included in the primary-school workshop.