Notice change rather than relying on a checklist
A pupil may become quieter, more reactive, reluctant to participate or unusually keen to stay near adults. There may be changes in attendance, punctuality, concentration, friendship groups, belongings or use of particular spaces.
Each change can have many explanations. Treat it as a reason to check in, not as proof or a diagnosis.
Look for patterns across places and times
Individual incidents can appear minor when viewed separately. Compare what is happening in lessons, corridors, lunch, transport, clubs and online spaces that affect school. Repeated exclusion or humiliation may be easier to see when staff share relevant information through the approved route.
Protect privacy. Pattern spotting should happen within safeguarding and pastoral procedures, not through informal staff-room discussion.
Use calm, open check-in questions
Start with what you have noticed: You seem less comfortable at lunchtime lately. How have things been? Other useful questions include: Is there a time or place that feels difficult? Who feels easiest to speak to? What would help you feel safer today?
Avoid leading questions, repeated interrogation or asking the pupil to confront someone. Thank them for speaking and explain what you need to do next.
Respond without making promises you cannot keep
Do not promise secrecy. Explain that you will share the concern only with the people who need to help. Record the pupil's words and the facts you observed through the school route.
Where the concern includes threats, coercion, serious harm, image-based abuse or another safeguarding risk, follow the school safeguarding procedure promptly.
Connect school and family support carefully
Follow the school policy for parent or carer communication and protect information about other pupils. Agree who will update the family and when the school will review whether the action is helping.
Parents and carers can use the separate guide on what to do if a child is being bullied.